the first year of the rest of my life

No one can go back, but everyone can go forward.

And tomorrow, when the sun rises, all you have to say to yourselves is:
I am going to think of this day as the first day of my life.

I will look on the members of my family with surprise and amazement, glad to discover that they are by my side, silently sharing tha little understood thing called love.

I will pass a beggar, who will ask me for money.
I might give it to him or I might walk past thinking that he will only spend it on drink, and as I do, I will hear his insults and know that it is simply his way of communicating with me.

I will pass someone trying to destroy a bridge.
I might try to stop him or I might realise that he is doing it because he has no one waiting for him on the other side and this is his way of trying to fend off his own loneliness.

Instead of noting down things I’m unlikely to forget, I will write a poem.
Even if I have never written one before and even if I never do so again, I will at least know that I once had the courage to put my feelings into words.

I will keep smiling, because it pleases me to know that people think I am mad. My smile is my way of saying: ‘You can destroy my body, but not my soul.’

If it’s sunny tomorrow, I want to look at the sun properly for the first time.
If it’s cloudy, I want to watch to see in which direction the clouds are going. I always think that I don’t have time or don’t pay enough attention. Tomorrow, though, I will concentrate on the direction taken by the clouds or on the sun’s rays and the shadows they create.

Above my head exists a sky about which all humanity, over thousands of years, has woven a series of reasonable explanations.

Well, I will forget everything I learned about the stars and they will be transformed once more into angels or children or whatever I feel like believing at that moment.

For the first time, I will smile without feeling guilty, because joy is not a sin.
For the first time, I will avoid anything that makes me suffer, because suffering is not a virtue.
I am living this day as if it were my first and, while it lasts, I will discover things that I did not even know were there.

Even though I have walked past the same places countless times before and said ‘Good morning’ to the same people, today’s ‘Good morning’ will be different. It will not be a mere polite formula, but a form of blessing.

And if I’m alone when the night falls, I will go over to window, look up at the sky and feel certain that loneliness is a lie, because the Universe is there to keep me company.

And then I will have lived each hour of my day as if it were a constant surprise to me, to this ‘I’, who was not created by my father or my mother or by school, but by everything I have experienced up until now, and which I suddenly forgot in order to discover it all anew.

And even if this is to be my last day on Earth, I will enjoy it to the full, because I will live it with the innocence of a child, as if I were doing everything for the first time.

Taken from here

A Suit Couple

My wife is very extrovert and tells all what she likes or dislikes. Sometimes, she forgets if not all things have to be said. And I am even worse; sometimes I do not listen to what she says.

Far and Close

I want to say to my wife, "How does one get close if he is not far away?"

But she cried before I had time to say it.

Kisah Singkat Asal Usul Bahasa Inggris

Bahasa Inggris berasal dari bahasa Jermanik-Barat yang juga merupakan rumpun dari bahasa-bahasa Indo-Eropa. Kerabat terdekat Bahasa Inggris adalah bahasa Skotlandia dan Bahasa Frisian. Bahasa Frisian adalah bahasa yang dituturkan oleh sekitar setengah juta orang di provinsi Friesland Belanda dekat Jerman, dan di beberapa pulau di Laut Utara.

 

Sejarah Bahasa Inggris dibagi menjadi tiga periode utama: Bahasa Inggris Kuno / Old English (sekitar tahun 450-1100), Bahasa Inggris Pertengahan / Middle English (sekitar tahun 1100-1500) dan Bahasa Inggris Modern / Modern English (sejak tahun 1500 sampai sekarang). Selama berabad-abad itu juga, Bahasa Inggris telah dipengaruhi oleh sejumlah bahasa lainnya.

Bahas Inggris Kuno (450-1100): Selama abad ke-5 Masehi tiga suku Jermanik (Saxons, Angles, dan Jutes) datang ke Kepulauan British dari beberapa bagian barat laut Jerman serta Denmark. Suku-suku yang suka berperang dan mengusir penduduk asli ini berbahasa asli Celtic, dari Inggris ke Skotlandia, Wales dan Cornwall. Satu kelompok dari mereka bermigrasi ke Brittany, pantai Perancis dimana keturunan mereka masih berbicara bahasa Breton Celtic sampai sekarang.

Kata "English" sendiri berasal dari Bahasa Inggris Kuno "Englisc", yang berasal dari bahasa Angles.

Sebelum masa Saxon, Bahasa —yang sekarang menjadi Bahasa— Inggris adalah campuran antara bahasa Latin dan berbagai Bahasa Celtic yang telah digunakan bahkan sebelum Bangsa Romawi datang ke Britania (54-5 sebelum masehi). Bangsa Romawi membawa Bahasa Latin ke Britania, yang merupakan bagian dari Kekaisaran Romawi selama lebih dari 400 tahun.

Walaupun begitu, pengaruh Bahasa Celtic kepada Bahasa Inggris Kuno hanya sedikit. Malah kemudian kedatangan St. Augustine pada tahun 597 ke Inggris lah yang membawa lebih banyak lagi kata-kata Latin ke dalam Bahasa Inggris. Mereka pada umumnya bersangkutan dengan penamaan pejabat Gereja, upacara, dll.

Ada beberapa karya tertulis yang masih bertahan dari periode ini. Yang paling terkenal adalah sebuah puisi epik heroik yang disebut  "Beowulf". Ini adalah puisi Inggris tertua dan terkenal panjang (3.183 baris). Para ahli mengatakan "Beowulf" ditulis di Britania lebih dari seribu tahun yang lalu. Nama orang yang menulis juga tidak diketahui.

Bagian dari Beowulf

Bahasa Inggris Pertengahan (1100-1500): Setelah William sang Penakluk, menyerang dan menguasai Inggris tahun 1066, ia menjadi raja dan menjadikan pengikutnya yang berbicara bahasa Perancisuntuk menjabat dalam pemerintahan yang baru. Perancis mengambil alih bahasa dari pengadilan, administrasi, dan budaya. Bahasa Latin sebagian besar digunakan untuk bahasa tertulis, terutama di Gereja. Sementara itu, Bahasa Inggris dianggap sebagai bahasa kelas bawah.

Sekitar tahun 1200, Inggris dan Perancis berpisah. Bahasa Inggris berubah banyak, karena sekitar 300 tahun itu, sebagian besar Bahasa Inggris digunakan untuk percakapan bukan tulisan. Bahasa Inggris Kuno digunakan kembali tapi dengan banyak tambahan kata-kata Perancis. Bahasa Inggris pada masa ini disebut Bahasa Inggris Pertengahan.

Menarik untuk dicatat, karena saat itu orang inggris kelas-bawah dikucilkan oleh orang Norman kelas-atas, maka kata-kata untuk kebanyakan hewan domestik menggunakan Bahasa Inggris (ox, cow, calf, sheep, swine, deer) sementara kata-kata untuk menyebut daging hewan-hewan tersebut menggunakan bahasa Perancis (beef, veal, mutton, pork, bacon, venison)

Bahasa Inggris Pertengahan juga ditandai oleh Great Vowel Shift. Yaitu perubahan suara secara besar-besaran yang mempengaruhi bunyi vokal panjang Bahasa Inggris. Pada dasarnya, bunyi vokal panjang diucapkan dengan pergeseran ke atas mulut; tapi berubah menjadi diucapkan di satu tempat yang lebih tinggi dalam mulut.

Di bawah ini ada gambar bagian dalam kepala manusia. Jika kamu membelah kepalamu menjadi dua, maka gambar di bawah inilah yang akan kamu lihat. However, I recommend that you do not try this at home. :)

Great Vowel Shift terjadi selama abad kelima belas sampai kedelapan belas.

Bahasa Inggris Moderen (1500 - sampai sekarang): Bahasa Inggris Moderen dikembangkan setelah William Caxton memperkenalkan percetakannya di Westminster Abbey pada tahun 1476. Alkitab dan beberapa naskah penting dicetak. Buku-buku menjadi lebih murah dan lebih banyak orang belajar membaca. Percetakan juga membawa standarisasi ke Bahasa Inggris.

Pada era Shakespeare (1592-1616), Bahasa Inggris telah menjadi mudah dikenali sebagai Bahasa Inggris Moderen. Ada tiga perkembangan besar yang kemudian mempengaruhi Bahasa Inggris pada awal periode Bahasa Inggris Moderen ini yaitu: Renaissance, revolusi industri dan penjajahan Inggris.

Bahasa Inggris berubah dan terus berkembang sampai menjadi seperti sekarang ini —dan masih akan terus berkembang, dengan ratusan tambahan kata-kata baru setiap tahunnya. Walaupun ada banyak kata pinjaman dari banyak bahasa lain, namun jantung Bahasa Inggris tetaplah bahasa Anglo-Saxon dari era Bahasa Inggris Kuno. Tata Bahasa Inggris juga sangat jelas Jermanik —tiga gender (He, She dan It) dan susunan sederhana dari kata kerja

Sumber tulisan: http://www.studyenglishtoday.net/english-language-history.html

Sumber gambar: http://www.englishclub.com/english-language-history.htm

The two drops of oil

Standing above the little town of Tarifa is an old fort built by the Moors. I remember sitting here with my wife, Christina, in 1982, and for the first time looking at a continent from across a narrow stretch of water: Africa. At that time I could not dream that such a lazy moment in the late afternoon would inspire a scene in my best-known book, “The Alchemist”. Nor could I have dreamed that the story that follows, heard in the car, would serve as an excellent example for all of us who are searching for some balance between discipline and compassion.

A merchant sent his son to learn the Secret of Happiness from the wisest of men. The young man wandered through the desert for forty days until he reached a beautiful castle at the top of a mountain. There lived the sage that the young man was looking for.

However, instead of finding a holy man, our hero entered a room and saw a great deal of activity; merchants coming and going, people chatting in the corners, a small orchestra playing sweet melodies, and there was a table laden with the most delectable dishes of that part of the world.

The wise man talked to everybody, and the young man had to wait for two hours until it was time for his audience.

With considerable patience, he listened attentively to the reason for the boy’s visit, but told him that at that moment he did not have the time to explain to him the Secret of Happiness.

He suggested that the young man take a stroll around his palace and come back in two hours’ time.

“However, I want to ask you a favor,” he added, handing the boy a teaspoon, in which he poured two drops of oil. “While you walk, carry this spoon and don’t let the oil spill.”

The young man began to climb up and down the palace staircases, always keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. At the end of two hours he returned to the presence of the wise man.

“So,” asked the sage, “did you see the Persian tapestries hanging in my dining room? Did you see the garden that the Master of Gardeners took ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?”

Embarrassed, the young man confessed that he had seen nothing. His only concern was not to spill the drops of oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.

“So, go back and see the wonders of my world,” said the wise man. “You can’t trust a man if you don’t know his house.”

Now more at ease, the young man took the spoon and strolled again through the palace, this time paying attention to all the works of art that hung from the ceiling and walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around the palace, the delicacy of the flowers, the taste with which each work of art was placed in its niche. Returning to the sage, he reported in detail all that he had seen.

“But where are the two drops of oil that I entrusted to you?” asked the sage.

Looking down at the spoon, the young man realized that he had spilled the oil.

“Well, that is the only advice I have to give you,” said the sage of sages. “The Secret of Happiness lies in looking at all the wonders of the world and never forgetting the two drops of oil in the spoon.”

By Paulo Coelho

Pragmatism of Bilbo Baggins (Part II)

After he escapes from goblins’ cave, he is reunited with the dwarves and Gandalf and they continue their journey. They arrive in front of Mirkwood. Gandalf leaves them because he has an important thing to do. And the new adventure in the jungle begins without Gandalf.

Mirkwood is widely known because it has many dangers. It is very dark inside. The trees are very tall, big and seem tangled to one another so the sunshine cannot go through the leaves. The river is magically black spelled and cannot be drunk. And there are many creatures that they have never seen before. And again, in this situation Bilbo shows his pragmatism.

In the middle of the jungle, Bilbo and the dwarves are lost and meet the giant spiders. All dwarves are caught, made into some bundles and hanged in the branches. There is no other way, only Bilbo that can help them. And he decides to fight the spiders, using himself as a decoy instead of going away.

“’I am going to disappear,’ he [Bilbo] said. ‘I shall draw the spiders off, if I can; and you must keep together and make in the opposite direction. To the left there, that is more or less the way towards the place where we last saw the elf-fires.’” (The Hobbit, p.164)

It is not one time he helps the dwarves. After Bilbo rescues them from the giant spiders, the dwarves are caught by the elves of Mirkwood for trespassing the Elvenking. At that time, again Bilbo rescues them using the invisible ring.

When he is invisible, he follows the dwarves which lead him into a dungeon. His decision is very dangerous but not without his consideration. At the first he hesitates but finally decides not to leave their friends and enters to the Elvenking’s Halls to rescue them.

“Across the bridge the elves thrust their prisoners, but Bilbo hesitated in the rear. He did not at all like the look of the cavern-mouth and he only made up his mind not to desert his friends just in time to scuttle over at the heels of the fast elves, before the great gates of the king closed behind them with a clang.” (The Hobbit, p.172)

The doors of the halls can be opened and closed by magic. Even though Bilbo is invisible, it is still hard for him to find a way out to rescue the dwarves. But he finally finds one way out. He finds that the great gates in the Elvenking’s Hall are not the only entrance to the caves. A stream flows under part of the lowest regions of the palace. Where this underground watercourse comes forth from the hillside, there is a water-gate. But the portcullis is often open, for a good deal of traffic goes out and in by the water-gate.

Bilbo discovers the trapdoors and their use, and lurking there, listening to the talk of the king’s servants, he learns how the wine and other goods come up the rivers, or over land, to the Long Lake. When the barrels are empty, the elves cast them through the trapdoors, open the water-gate, and out the barrels floated on the stream. And Bilbo’s plan is using empty barrels, leaping into the stream after them.

From these two decisions, the thought of pragmatism is demonstrated. As it is delivered by James that pragmatism is not a stiff theory. It is an instrument that provides an umbrella for any thoughts as long as the thoughts can produce real and useful actions. Pragmatism also refuses theoretical argument, priority debate, ideological refute, moral value discussion, and so forth in order to take useful action immediately.

Bilbo’s acts that the writer describes previously are qualified in pragmatism view; real, immediate and useful actions. In addition, it strengthens the explanation that truth is made and expedient.

In Bilbo’s case, the benefit is for the dwarfs. This benefit is indeed partial. Not everyone gets the benefit from what has Bilbo done. For dwarfs, it is very useful, but it is not for the elves. At first, the elves would like to investigate the dwarfs about the reason they come to their forest. It is difficult —if we cannot call it impossibility, to provide benefit for everyone, for every side.

However, in The Hobbit the writer finds that in the end Bilbo is not selfish. He puts aside his own interest or benefit for a bigger and more important thing, which is for a common good. He arrives at Misty Mountain and Smaug is finally slain by Bard. Bilbo and the dwarfs take control of the treasure that once was under the dragon’s wings. Then the people of Lake Town helped by the elves demand to Thorin for their treasure that is also robbed by the dragon before, but Thorin refuses it arrogantly. So they warn that they will surround the mountain and will not let any dwarf pass. Of course Thorin does not give up easily. He asks for a help from Dain, his cousin in the Iron hills near the Lonely Mountain. Dain has more than five hundred well-armed dwarves.

At that time, again Bilbo shows his pragmatism. He takes Arkenstone, which belongs to Thorin’s father as one of his precious treasure, and gives it to Bard. Even to hide the stone is a dangerous act. Arkenstone “is worth more than a river of gold in itself, and to me [Thorin] it is beyond price. That stone of all the treasure I name unto myself, and I will be avenged on anyone who finds it and withholds it.” (The Hobbit, p. 268)

Bilbo’s decision to give Arkenstone to Bard, who is by right descent the heir of Girion of Dale, is basically because it is Bard who kills Smaug the dragon so Thorin’s treasure is free from the marauding dragon. Moreover, the treasure that the dragon has taken mostly comes from Girion and Esgaroth, the area of lake-men town. Further in the last battle Smaug destroys the dwellings of the men of Esgaroth. And the last but not least, Bilbo has thought for the sorrow and misery of Dale people. He does not want any clash occurred between the dwarfs and the alliance of the Lake Town people and the elves.

Arkenstone, in Bilbo’s thought, is capable to make Thorin talk it over and finally give the treasure that belongs to the Dale people. Therefore, a battle between the dwarfs and the alliance of the Lake Town people and the elves will not happen. Consequently, Thorin becomes very angry with him.

“’I gave it them!’ squeaked Bilbo, who was peeping over the wall, by now, in a dreadful fright.
‘You! You!’ cried Thorin, turning upon him and grasping him with both hands. ‘You miserable hobbit! You undersized-burglar!’ he shouted at a loss for words, and he shook poor Bilbo like a rabbit.
‘By the beard of Durin! I wish I had Gandalf here! Curse him for his choice of you! May his beard wither! As for you I will throw you to the rocks!’ he cried and lifted Bilbo in his arms.” (The Hobbit, p. 276)

In this situation Bilbo believes that peace will bring more benefit than a battle will. This is suitable with what William James says that a will precedes the truth where the will is accompanied by a desire to believe.

At first it seems that Bilbo’s act does not give him any benefit. He can even lose a fourteenth of Thorin’s treasure that will be given to him as payment for his service. In other words, what Bilbo has done inflicts such a loss for himself, but he believes that it will be useful for many people or sides and for peace. He puts the others’ benefit or common good over his own benefit. He says: “…Take it that I have disposed of my share as I wished, and let it go at that!” (The Hobbit, p. 277)

And finally, by his pragmatic act, the war between the dwarves and the alliance of the lake-town people and the elves can be avoided. The two groups unite to fight the evil goblins. The goblins can be defeated and the treasures are shared.

Through Bilbo’s decision, it seems that Tolkien wants to show that pragmatism is supposed to be able to give much benefit for many people instead of to one person. With that, it can be seen that good or truth is something that should be useful for many people.

Pragmatism of Bilbo Baggins (Part I)

The writer starts this finding by telling the basic theme of The Hobbit. Even the most common readers have to agree that the central theme of The Hobbit is struggling between good or truth and evil or wrong.

There have been many philosophers trying to explain the meaning of truth through their philosophical theories. The idealists say that ideas are true if the meaning of a sentence reflects the object adequately. While the rationalists believe that reason is the essential route to truth, which exists in the world of ideas.

In this study the writer shows the meaning of ‘good’ or ‘truth’ that might Tolkien tries to deliver in The Hobbit. The writer analyzes that there are some acts that indicate the meaning of truth as good by pragmatism view, especially the theory delivered by William James. He writes in his book Pragmatism: A new name for some old ways of thinking that truth as good is made and useful. Someone can say that something is true because it is useful or it is useful so it is true.

Moreover, the truth ideas are validated and verified through the real expedience or actions. The wrong ideas cannot be verified and validated through experience. It can be concluded that truth is every action that can bring the doer into good result and the result is useful and satisfying.

In The Hobbit the writer sees this useful-good is delivered by the author through Bilbo Baggins as the main character. Many Bilbo’s actions in the novel clearly show his pragmatism. This is the same thing with pragmatism that emphasizes on human actions. Pragmatism itself is taken from Greek 'pragma' which means action or work.

The writer finds that Bilbo’s decision in joining the adventure with thirteen dwarves is right in pragmatic view. At first Bilbo refuses Gandalf’s invitation because he considers there will be more bad things happened than the good ones.

“’I should think so - in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can’t think what anybody sees in them,’ said our Mr. Baggins.”(The Hobbit, p. 4)

But Gandalf makes such a sign on the Bilbo’s door which approximately means; burglar wants a good job, plenty of Excitement and reasonable reward. Because of that sign, the dwarves and also Gandalf get together in Bilbo’s house and have a meeting there. When Thorin, son of the dwarves’ king, explains the adventure and also the dangers that might happen, suddenly Bilbo screams and shudders. The dwarves become doubtful to Bilbo, even Gloin, one of the dwarves says that at the first time he comes to the house Bilbo looks more like a grocer than a burglar. Bilbo is offended with the words and finally decides to join the adventure.

“’Pardon me,’ he [Bilbo] said, ‘if I have overheard words that you were saying. I don’t pretend to understand what you are talking about, or your reference to burglars, but I think I am right in believing’ (this is what he called being on his dignity) ‘that you think I am no good. I will show you. I have no signs on my door-it was painted a week ago-, and I am quite sure you have come to the wrong house. As soon as I saw your funny faces on the door-step, I had my doubts. But treat it as the right one. Tell me what you want done, and I will try it, if I have to walk from here to the East of East and fight the wild Were-worms in the Last Desert…’“ (The Hobbit, p. 18-19)

Pragmatism of William James offers a new method in seeing truth. He refuses truth as a static thing in an idea. It implies that truth is not an absolute thing but changeable. Moreover truth can be made. This point of view also guides to see that ideas are only instruments or equipment for reaching the goals. Thus motivation of the subject can determine the truth in an idea.

In Bilbo Baggins, the motivation of his act to join the adventure is his resentfulness because the dwarves oversimplify him. Of course, the writer does not directly say through the motivation of Bilbo’s act becoming right. The writer adds with verification that also becomes a requirement to prove that the acts that Bilbo takes are right. As stated by James that truth needs verification.

In a brief explanation, verification process to an idea is divided into two views: prospective and retrospective. Prospectively, an idea is true if it directs to do an action. In this case, verification process starts and the idea might be proven to be right. Retrospectively, verification process has reached the result. If the result is useful, the idea is the right one. Further William James states that “True is the name for whatever idea starts the verification-process, useful is the name for its completed function in experience”.

Bilbo’s decision in joining adventure causes many troubles for himself, Gandalf and the dwarves, but finally, his decision proves to be right according to the result of the action. In the end of his adventure, he gets the goal of the adventure; takes the treasure deprived by the marauding dragon Smaug.

One of Bilbo’s decisions in the adventure is when he bravely sneaks into a group of troll for stealing. It is because of some reasons. One of them is because he and the dwarves are wet by rain. They are also lost most of their supplies because their ponies that carry their supplies get scared and soon run away. While nobody knows where Gandalf has gone away, Bilbo has already been trusted as their experienced burglar. He sees a bon fire and smoke that indicate there is assign of life. When he approaches to the fire, he sees trolls having roast lamb. With all those reasons in addition to his belief, he decides to pick the trolls’ pockets in order to get something useful for him and the dwarves. Even though, at first he is not sure of his action, but he does it anyway.

“Bilbo knew it. He had read of a good many things he had never seen or done. He was very much alarmed, as well as disgusted… So he stood and hesitated in the shadows. Of the various burglarious proceedings he had heard of picking the trolls’ pockets seemed the least difficult…” (The Hobbit, p. 35-36)

The idea of his act is exactly the same as what James writes.

“If I am lost in the woods and starved, and find what looks like a cow-path, it is of the utmost importance that I should think of a human habitation at the end of it, for if I do so and follow it, I save myself. The true thought is useful here because the house which is its object is useful.” (Pragmatism, p. 203)

One event that cannot be put aside relating to Bilbo’s act that shows his pragmatism is when Bilbo gets lost in goblins cave and meets Gollum. They play the riddle. In the game, they make a bet. If Bilbo wins, Gollum will give a way out of the cave, but if he loses Gollum will eat him.

Bilbo knows that the riddle-game is sacred and of immense antiquity, and even wicked creatures are afraid to cheat when they play at it. But he asks a question that is not supposed to be a riddle. He skews in the game. He asks the ‘real’ question. He asks about something in his pocket. He realizes his fraud —even at the first it accidentally happened. Gollum also tells about Bilbo’s fraud but he still gives the question as a riddle.

“’Not fair! not fair!’ he [Gollum] hissed. ‘It isn’t fair, my precious, is it, to ask us what it’s got in its nassty little pocketses?’
Bilbo seeing what had happened and having nothing better to ask stuck to his question. ‘What have I got in my pocket?’ he said louder.” (The Hobbit, p. 79)

Bilbo’s decision that seems to be a pragmatic decision is when he jumps over Gollum and crawl past the Goblins to squeeze through the closing door wearing the ring that can make him invisible. The ring actually belongs to Gollum. Bilbo accidentally finds it before he meets Gollum.

Skipping Gollum when he is angry because his precious ring is taken and passing the goblin that are very angry because their leader was killed by Gandalf, not only need the courage but also need encouragement that can motivate him. He also needs to consider the benefit and the loss. And that what he does. He thinks that whatever the dangers of passing Gollum and goblins are much better than he should live in the goblins’ cave alone. He realizes the danger threatening him and his pragmatism shows him to act and finally he is free from goblins’ cave.

Continue reading, please click here.

This is What the Girl Want to Hear from You

One day, in the afternoon, a wife starts a conversation with her husband.

Wife: do you still find me attractive?

(This is really damn question! If you say ‘NO’ it will hurt her. If you say ‘YES’ she will think, “Okay. I am still attractive. So it is still too long to be the unattractive one. BUT one day he will think that I’m not attractive! OH!”)

Husband: why do you ask?

(This is a question to make you know the motif)

Wife: just answer.

Husband: that’s not such a question I should answer.

(Don’t give up. Try harder to find the motif)

Wife: I think I’m not I used to be. I didn’t treat my self well.

(This is it the motif and also the stupidity! If you know you didn’t treat your self well so treat it well. Don’t ask someone to make you feel guiltless. Even she can answer her self)

Husband: just let it dark. You know, ignorance is blessing.

(This is how to avoid a major disaster)

Wife: and if I die in the next day, won’t you regret for the unspoken words I’d like to hear?

(This is what makes you feel guilty)

Husband: that’s not a question, even it’s a complexity!

Wife: I just asking am I still attractive or no? Is it so hard to answer?

Husband: what would you do with the answer?

Wife: Hmm… so it’s probably ‘NO’. Okay I get the answer then.

(SEE!)

Husband: that what I said a complexity. Not answering it makes you can justifiably the answer. Answering it makes you have argument to deny.

Wife: But this is not the question I’d like to deny. If you say yes then I’ll be smiling and more confident. If you say no that clarify a lot and I’ll try to improve my self. You make it complicated.

Husband: so which one do you prefer smiling without improving or improving without smiling?

Wife: The truth.

Husband: this is not a matter of truth or lie. Yes or no. true or wrong. This is not multiple choices. This is a marriage. Wider this is life.

Wife: I agree. However, sweet words and acts won’t hurt and even can sweeten the marriage life.

(This is what she needs from the beginning; SWEET WORDS!)

Moral of the conversation: What ever the question the girl only needs sweet words. So, be a liar guys!

Search Box

I put the pointer in the search box and then type, "Nailal Fahmi"

The screen flashes briefly and then came the words, "Did you mean: Animal Farm"

Yeah! You’re rite, dumb!

The Fine Line between Smart and Stupid is The Age

Nada, my one-year-old daughter, scooped food in the bowl to the floor. Her mother shook her head and said, "Smart girl."

I imagine 20 years later she does the same thing in front of her mother. What would her mother say?

Why does everything that a child doing considered smart, while the same thing but adults doing considered dumb?

This is The Selfishness of Time; It cannot be Repeated Even Just for A Second

I am a Good Boy

There is a question that has been in my mind since I was kid; how long will we live in the heaven after we death?

After graduating Elementary School, I continued my study to Islamic Boarding School. I asked that question to my teacher who understood about that, and I got varied answers. One of them answered that the life in hereafter was eternal. Endless.

“Won’t we get bored in the heaven, sir?” I who was really sure entering the heaven asked.

“It won’t!” the teacher explained, “Everything is different between the earth and the hereafter.”

According to his explanation, there will be nobody who pees and poops. There will be very beautiful angels and rivers as white as milk and as sweet as honey. There will not be any fights and riots, everyone loves each other. Everything will be perfect there!

On the other hand, in the hell, the sinful people will be tortured with the very hot fire. Some say, if someone steps on the fire stone there, even the smallest one, it will be enough to boil his brain!

Yes, how scary the hell is! And how tempting the heaven is!

But honestly, I was confused when the teacher gave that explanation. And it was too hard to understand for me as a child. I thought; will the wives be jealous when their husbands surrounded by the pretty angels? Where will the waste in my stomach go if we never poop and pee?

Besides, I still want to be a good person. It is like Ahmad Dani feat Crisye Song, if the heaven and the hell don’t exist, will you still pray to God?

I have a story about that.

In one early Sunday morning, I rode Fikri, my brother, to Depok by Honda-Astrea70-released-in-80 motorbike for a job interview. If I am not mistaken, it was a few days after Ied Mubarok day.

When the there was a tree junction, I slowed my bike. We slipped through the crowd very smoothly. But suddenly, from the left back side, there was some one riding a motorcycle very fast and hit the motorcycle in front of him. Screeeeeech!!!! CRASH!!! Two motorcycles hit the ground. It was horror. Everything seemed like in a slow motion. The world seemed like slowing down and then paused in a moment…

Fortunately, both the motorcycle riders were saved; include one more person who sat behind one of the rider. They weren’t dead. But unfortunately, one of the motorcycles that hit the ground was mine! At first I didn’t know what was really going on. All I know that suddenly there was a strong push from my left back side that caused my bike went trembling and finally hit the ground.

After a while we came back to reality. The people around the crime scene helped us to walked aside. As the innocent one, I tried to be calm.

“How are you? You’re alright, aren’t you?” the man who hit me asked. In my mind I wanted to be angry and shouted at him, but that didn’t happen. I saw that his motorcycle was damaged. It was worse than mine. And I could see he is older than I am. And maybe he was having a complicated mind or problem when he was riding motorcycle.

“I am OK! What about you?” I answered his question. And he explained the chronological event. I forgot the conversation. And with my maturity and a predicate as a good boy, I shake his hand. Before that, we exchanged our identity cards each other. And without my knowing he went somewhere. So my brother and I sat on the side of the road and didn’t know what to do.

And suddenly…. There was a middle-aged man greeted us.

“Wa’alaikum salam!” Fikri and I answered together. Before he came to us we saw him asking some mineral water in the shop near us but he didn’t get the water.

“Is Depok near or still far from here, boys?” the middle-aged man asked.

“Yes, sir! It’s still far from here! We also want to go there but we are having misfortune” I answered.

“We have some water, you may take it.” Fikri said.

“Where are you from?” I asked curiously.

“My wife is in a hospital to give a birth” he gave unasked information, “but I didn’t have enough money to pay the hospital. So, I decided to borrow some money from my relatives in Cikarang. When I arrived in their house, they weren’t there. They went hometown. And because I didn’t have any money, so I have to go to Depok from Cikarang on foot…. “

...

Walk from Cikarang?! It's around 50 kilometers far from here!

Yup, at that time my conscience said: ‘Come on Nailal! Help him!” we felt pity and decided to give some money to him. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for public transportation cost to Depok. He finally left after thanking us. And my text messages to some friends were answered relatively disappointing.

It was only a story about my experience. And as long as there is someone needs help, I will always try to do my best.

Maybe there is a question in your mind; why do I never feel enough to help people? I have simple answer; it is because I believe that I will be helped, that some one will help me some day when I need one. Allah still want to help His servant as long as the servant still want to help his/her brother, Rasulullah has ever said that.

Yes, it was true, bro! After helping the middle-aged man, Fikri and I tried to do as he did. Walking home. Not to mention carrying the damaged Honda-Astrea70-released-in-80 motorbike. But there was another thing happened. We finally didn’t go home on foot, because not so far from the crime scene, we got helped by a thin-long-haired-parking-man. He asked what was going on and then he checked my motorcycle right away without even asked permission. But he did ask for a screwdriver and pliers that was put under the motorcycle seat to fix the motorcycle handlebar.

Then.

Hocus Pocus… Abracadabra… the handlebar was fixed! My motorcycle could run again eventhough it wasn’t as fast as before. We got home with some bruises, but most importantly, we were safe and sound.

It is easier to believe in God than denying Him

I just watched this movie yesterday. One quote left in my mind, "Be careful, Michael. Choosing not to believe in devil won’t protect you from it!”

Michael Kovak (Colin O'Donoghue) passes four years in a seminary school and abdicates his vows upon completion. However, after ordination, he writes a letter of resignation to his superior, Father Matthew, due to a lack of faith. But Father Matthew (Toby Jones) believes that Michael is called to be a priest. He later approaches Michael with an invitation to travel to Rome in order to attend a class on exorcism. Michael reluctantly accepts after being told by Father Matthew that he will be levied a $100,000 student loan if he leaves immediately, but that if he still desires to resign from his position after taking the class, then they will discuss it then (hinting that he may be free to leave).

During classes, he finds his self is skeptic and very tentative in his faith. Father Xavier (Ciarán Hinds) later asks Michael to see a friend of his, Father Lucas (Anthony Hopkins), who is a renowned Welsh Jesuit exorcist. However, Michael remains skeptical, even after witnessing several preternatural events.

The conflict had climax when Father Lucas begins behaving strangely, exhibiting signs of demonic possession. Finally, due to the condition of no one can perform the exorcism except him; Michael decides to perform the exorcism on his own. After constant rebuking by the demon and a long, drawn out fight, Michael regains his once lost faith and is able to force the demon. In the fight, the demon asks Michael to believe in him. Michael says, “Yes, I believe in you. So, I believe in God, too.” He completes the exorcism, and the powerful demon leaves Father Lucas.

Be Different, Be Independent, Be You!

My friends often call me a weirdo.

At first, I didn’t care about that name. But gradually I felt disturbed. And here I need to defense myself. I need to tell that there are many weird people around us and even much weirder than I am.

Let me tell you the examples. In my campus I have a friend (to cover her real identity, let us just call her ‘the-weirdo’). One time in our campus, ‘the-weirdo’ was doing a cross word puzzle while waiting for the lecture to come to class. But there was a word she couldn’t figure out. ‘The-weirdo’ asked her friend, Petra.

“Eh, Pet! Four letters: malang, sial[1]?”
“NAAS[2]!” Petra said enthusiastically.
“Four letters, Pet!” The-Weirdo wasn’t sure.
“Yes. Naas is four letters!” Petra assured her impatiently.
“But the second letter is A!” the-weirdo became the-stupid. My friends and I in the class room were waiting for Petra reaction. Petra couldn’t control her emotion, “That is NAAS!”
“NO, FOUR LETTERS! THE SECOND LETTER IS A!” The-weirdo insisted.
“YES! IT’S NAAS!!!” Petra exploded.

Silent.

‘Mmm, hey, you’re right.’ The-weirdo said.

There was also a weirdo in my office. He is an Office Boy (once more, to cover his real identity, let us just call him the-OB. One day, when I wanted to go to a bathroom, I was very surprised! I saw the seated toilet was broken in two pieces. Can you imagine the toilet made of the-big-strong-porcelain-seated toilet can break that way?! In my mind, there were critical questions: who broke it? Was there anyone broke the toilet as a result of terrorism? Or was there anyone pooped a bomb?

After that, I know that someone who broke the toilet was the-OB. He pooped by squatting in the seated toilet.

Now! Who is weirder?

But as the time went by, as the age went by, I understand more that I am really weird. I like to write and also like to be alone. You can say that I am introvert. Sometimes, I could not hear let alone listen people talking near me or to me when I was reading a book or anything else. It is like I am in my own world when I am reading books.

I had sent SMS to Petra and made her cry successfully –but I didn’t mean it. And she didn’t speak to me in a week.

After one week she wanted to meet me. I thought she wanted to say sorry for her fault, her big fault. And I will always accept her apology. I met Petra and she said that she didn’t speak to me was that because she wanted to give me a lesson!

I asked her for the reason. She said that it was because my answer in my last-week-SMS. Yes, I remembered the SMS that I sent her at that time. I wrote that she was like a STONE! I thought that was not rude, but maybe I sent the message in bad time. Maybe at that time she needed someone to share about her problem.

And she cried.

To be honest, there are many of my friends (especially girls), cried because of what I did or said. And here I am rethinking: am I really a weirdo?

With my weirdness, I see people through my perspective. And because I have different perspective with others, so it also creates a different result. Or with the simple word, I am weird!

Eventhough the word ‘weird’ here does not always have bad connotation. Maybe every one has her or his own ‘weirdness’. That’s because we have different point of view, every point of view looks from its own mindsets. The way we speak, the way we walk, the way we act must be different from one to another. That is something that makes us different, makes our own ‘weirdness’.

I am thinking about my self. I am not a follower. I am not such a follower that follows to see orchestra or listen to jazz so that I will look like a gentleman. Or I am proud because I ever climbed the highest mountain in Indonesia. I am not someone who pretends to be sad when I watch movies or when I read poems, maybe some people think that sad is romantic, and romantic is a style.

I am not a person who puts other people good impression at the first place and makes it more important than what I really want and like. Be different, be independent, be you!


[1] Indonesian word means unfortunate
[2] Indonesian word, synonym of the first footnote

A Monologue of Sorry

"Whatever it is you're seeking won't come in the form you're expecting."
Haruki Murakami


There are some whishes happened as I want. There are some didn’t happen as I want. And there are some haven’t happened yet.

For some whishes that haven’t happened yet, they can be happened as I want or as I don’t want. That is what I call hope. There is no one knows what will happen in the future. No one. So, many people wish something will happen as they want. Something good will happen not bad. But how many whishes became just empty whishes? Because something happens is unexpected.

Some people of course have ambitions that they want to realize. But there are also many people are even afraid for thinking about their ambitions. It is because they already saw failures. They saw something that didn’t fit with their whishes. What had happened is something far from what they want to reach. So they were sure that their ambitions became impossible.

How can those things happen? Why conditions around us can control our whishes and our hopes? Why do they seem to make failure?

I am the one who ever feel that feeling. I feel that the conditions are often the opposite of what I hope. I realize that every act I take is nothing. And my ambitions that I have ever had seem impossible.

At first I claimed that the bad conditions are my enemies. The bad conditions around me can make me become pessimistic, bored, stingy and etc. They control me too much.

But, the more I blame the conditions around me, the more I blame something that creates the conditions, the one who designs, controls and cares of the whole world. God. I blame God for what had happened to me; to every condition He created it for me. The conditions were against my will.

I know that was wrong!
My friend said that many success people came from bad conditions. Thomas Alfa Edison was born with not normal ears. Hamka finished his Tafsir in the jail. And the genius Bill Gates didn’t come from a rich family.

I regret because I ever blamed God to what He had made to me. I say sorry to Him in every pray. I realize that I am the one who control what is going to happen to me. The condition around me is not the obstacle to realize my dreams, my wishes. Even in the most difficult situation or condition, I will always still have a thing that I call a hope.

I realize there are many things didn’t fit with what I want. Many things are out of my control to change. The conditions made me pessimistic with everything that I ever dreamt of. And I remember what Allah says in Qur’an,

…
But it is possible
That you dislike a thing
Which is good for
you,
And that you love a thing
Which is bad for you.
…

Al Baqara: 216

What is Written?

A blind man was begging on the road to Mecca, when a pious Moslem came over and asked whether the people were giving generously – as the Koran commands. The man showed him his little tin, which was almost empty. The traveler said, "Let me write something on the card around your neck."

Hours later, the traveler returned. The beggar was surprised, for he had received a large amount of money.

"What did you write on the card?" he asked.

"All I wrote was: Today is a beautiful spring day, the sun is shining, and I am blind."


Based on a story by Khalil Gibran

Life is a Small Journey: A Contemplation

It was an ordinary morning. I got up and thanked for my health. I also thanked for everything that Allah had given in that morning. After finishing my ‘morning duty’, I opened the door. The air touched my face and made it fresher. In the garden, the wind blew the leaves on the trees. It looked like ‘morning waving’ for me. The sun shined through the leaves and made the abstract shadow on the floor while my neighbor hens were crowing. All of those conditions made the morning perfect.

Yup, it was a perfect ordinary morning. I was thinking to travel around. It was Sunday, the day that I called ‘the day when the conscience fights with the loneliness’.

I was talking to myself, “Where am I going to go?”

I didn’t decide exactly where I wanted to go. Let Allah lead my hands to ride my motorcycle to somewhere.

I checked everything on my motorcycle, so I hoped there was no troubles on the road. Then, I rode my motorcycle through the morning air. After passing Inkopol, I passed the Patriot Raya Street. It was an alternative street, very strategic to run a business. On the right and the left of the street there was a lot of motorcycle washing services, restaurants, mini markets, Warnets and so on.

Not so long, I arrived at Pasar Kranji Baru; dirty, broken and bad smell. I didn’t want to get in there, so I passed it through Pemuda Street to Pasar Kranji Ujung that was being renovated. I stopped at the traffics light. While waiting the lamp turned green, I whistled. There was a little transportation in that morning. The air was still clean to breathe. Every other time, I heard ojek man giving their ride to employees that got off the bus. They showed their tired faces.  The voice of people blended with the transportation sound. The condition was lively. It was the real life. It was not imitated reality.

The light turned green, and I continued my journey. I turned right and passed the Grand Mall Bekasi. I finally passed Jl. Jend. Sudirman. I still rode through happily on my bike until I got into GOR Bekasi traffic light. The street was like the capital letter of ‘T’ in enormous size. The light was red, and I looked around. On my left there was a gas station.  On my right, there was a couple on Honda Tiger; the girl at the back was holding the rider tightly.  Every other time they whispered and every other time they laugh. The little street singer with his little guitar was singing in a Koasi. Opposite it, there was a woman beggar that carried a baby. There was also an old woman beggar holding a plastic bowl where people put in the charity.

Hoooonnkk!!!. The sound of a horn car behind me realized that the light was green. It meant I had to go. I went straight with the shocking.

Finally I arrived in Bekasi train station. I arrived in a roundabout called Bulan Bulan. There used to be a cat fish statue in the middle of that roundabout. But some people burnt the statue few years ago.

There were many things I remembered from the place. For me, Bulan Bulan and the streets around it especially Jl. Ir. H. Djuanda is my childhood memory. It was the place where I spent my childhood and my teens. Not far from it there was a place named Proyek. It is a downtown area. From far away, you could see there were many shop rows on the right and the left street. They seemed to say: ‘Welcome to Bekasi! May you have a great and enjoyable journey!’

For me, the place around Bulan Bulan is the real Bekasi. The place where I used to go jogging in the morning, take a train, or only take a journey without purpose like right now. It was like enjoying life in the past time, life in the childhood. It was the period when I didn’t think about the big problems. I had been still afraid to do a sin or maybe I hadn’t thought about the sins yet.

On Jl. Ir. H. Djuanda also lies Pesantren Annida Al Islamy, the place where I had stayed for 6 years, the place where it had given me a deep impression, the place where I had improved, developed, studied and grown up until now, where the foundation of my mind was formed. 

Time became more melancholic when it passed, when it became past time and was remembered, when it was proudly told as a ‘pleasure time’ story to new friends.  The past time always reminds me there isn’t an eternity in the world. Everything has an end. Everything! No exception. It is really true that it is hard to realize that someday people around us will go away and disappear, that they cannot always be with us. Yeah, it is always like that. However, that is our life…

I had a thought that become a traveler is sometimes fun. I can go everywhere; go to the place where my physic and my mind fight against each other, meet many new friends without always be with them, without being afraid to became loneliness. I can live freely; can enjoy my whole life, a life without hate and sorrow.

But in fact, many people see the same people everyday. Until some people became a part of the other people. And like it or not, the other people seem more to know how the other people must act. And the fact is I am not such as the traveler. So I just have an ordinary life. But I know there are lots of things I proudly tell about my life, there are lots of people in my life that I love and admire —because they deserve it.

This is small, but valuable.

Writing is Thinking; Survive to Keep Writing

Why do we have to write?

I simply answer “because we need”. Whatever your job is, whatever your talent is, whatever your hobbies are, you need to express your idea; clear, systematical and strong. You need to write.

In my opinion, writing is a sort of thinking. It is the way for you to exercise in order to have better opinion. Writing is not easy if you just only try it once or twice and after that you wish for a miracle comes and perfect your writing. It is also not as difficult as you thought if you know how to do it, however. Just as the other skills that need determination in the beginning and perseverance to the end, so does writing.

However, in the reality, writing seems difficult because some people did not generally have enough or appropriate lesson of this skill in the schools as needed. And when they realize about the importance of writing, they could become an impatient person. Other people start it passionately but with not much preparation, and after a while they get the feeling of pessimism and lack of talent. But remember, writing needs consistence, perseverance, and passion to survive.

I think, almost everything can be written. But whether or not the person wants and has courage to write is all that matters. If the lack of idea becomes the reason of not being able to write, to me that is just a silly reason. In actual fact, our heads have thousands and even millions of ideas waiting to be written.

If someone asks me to write something, I will start with the strongest feeling that I have in that moment, once more, the strongest feeling. For example:

“Today I’m having the writer’s block. Maybe there are some reasons that block the ideas in my mind to appear yet… and so on… and so on…”

After that I will correlate something that I am writing with the theme.

Maybe for some people this technique sounds funny and cannot be realized. For example, if your strongest feeling at that time is hunger but the theme is about independence, so what is relationship between hungers and independence? Nothing.

But that is the way how the brain works; to relate one to another. This is the theory brought by A.S. Laksana in his book Creative Writing. He wrote that you can push your idea out by taking three words randomly and then you put them in a paragraph or more.

In writing, it is usual if you find the first draft you write is very messy. The text becomes broken text. It might not become an enjoyable text or it sometimes does not focus. But for me, it is no problem. For a starter, it is better than nothing. Even one of the famous writers once said that 80 present of his first draft is shit.

And to finish writing, we need to write fast. Why do we need to write fast? It is because it can keep our mood, writing mood. For me, fast writing can save my mood. It also can produce a humble and honest writing. Fast writing, to me, is the same as fast speaking. If the others can understand to what we are talking then they will understand to what we are writing as well. And to make writing as understandable as speaking, we need to write fast.

Why can we speak fast? It is because we know something that we want to tell and how to tell it. We also can speak fast because we don’t need to think hard to find the ‘magic’ words. We just speak to express our ideas clearly. It also happens in fast writing.

And the last but not least, write without editing! Yes, don’t combine these two different things; writing and editing. Separate them. So write fast and badly just like you speak! Don’t mind about errors and thee perfect ending because there is still one more step to make it better; editing.

Finally, writing needs a clear minds, determination, and perseverance.